Today we shall briefly get into a little of my personal life. Ready for it? Good...
Confession of the Day: I'm a closet freak and I'm proud of it!
I really am. I'd love to be a full fledged freak some day, but till then I'm happy just surrounding myself by freaks as friends and by reading about freaks. And on that note... enjoy.
"You," replied the senior citizen.
"Whatsamatter, don't you like what you see?" demanded the punk.
Never taking his gaze from the young punk, the old man said: "About
So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a
sailor,
I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without
repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet,
conservative
type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the
throat, shakes
him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad
and he swears
more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you" and locks
the bird
in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and
scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose
with a
stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the
freezer.
For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and
claws
and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the guy
just
waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a
couple
of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer
door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says,
"Awfully
sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my
vocabulary
from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has
come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the
chicken
do?"
A punk, in full regalia (leather, chains, rings on every bodily protrusion,
multicolored spiked hair . . . the works), happened to note an old man
watching him intently from a park bench. The punk sauntered up to the
old
guy and, with a sneer curling his purple-colored lips, demanded to
know what
the old man was looking at.
twenty years ago I had intercourse with a parrot. I was just wondering
if you might be my son."
And More Parrot Humor...
Sent in by visitor Richard Fox who liked this parrot story and was
inspired to send a second one...