I went out late last night for a coffee with sugar and cream,
You and your friends were at Perkins and making a scene,
Well, Goth Chick you caught my eye (caught my eye)
With those tatoos up and down your thighs
I'd like to love ya
But, frankly, you scare me to death
Cuz' ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
You scare me Goth Chick, yeah,
I think I wet my pants.
 

Well, I soon found out she worked at the video store (Oh  Goth Chick)
She laughed at me when I picked out "Leprechaun 4 (Oh Goth Chick)
Well, Goth Chick you made my day (made my day) When you smiled in that
special way, Cuz yer tongue is pierced, And you said I didn't have to
pay. But still you scare me Goth Chick, Scare, scare me Goth Chick, Ya
scare me Goth Chick, Scare, scare me Goth Chick, Ya scare me Goth
Chick, Scare, scare me Goth Chick, Ya scare me Goth Chick, Scare,
scare me Goth Chick, Ya scare me Goth Chick, Scare, scare me Goth
Chick, Ya scare me Goth Chick, Scare, scare me Goth Chick, You scare
me Goth Chick, yeah, I just wet my pants.

Oh yeah, you scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
Ya scare me Goth Chick,
Scare, scare me Goth Chick,
You scare me Goth Chick, yeah,
But my heart'll go on.

On a hot desert planet
(I was not quite sure where)
Smell of bantha fodder
Rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance,
I saw a flickering light.
I threw my arms up and I yelled real loud,
A Sandcrawler was in sight!

I woke up inside the transport,
And hit my head with a BONK!
They got a lotta pretty, pretty droids,
(One called "Gonk").
Then they opened the hatchway
("Step down . . . watch your head.")
The two guys standing there were buying me;
That's when the little one said:

"Welcome to the Moisture Farm de Owen.
Such a boring place (such a boring place)
Wish I was in space.
Plenty of room at the Moisture Farm de Owen
Any time of year (any time of year)
It's hot as hell in here.""

Artoo went looking for Obi,
(But boy, that oil bath felt good)
When Luke got pummeled he was rescued
By some old coot in a hood.
Then we found all those Jawas,
dead by their van.
"These marks, too accurate for Sandpeople . . .
Musta been Darth Vader's plan."

Welcome to the Moisture Farm de Owen
Such a lengthy trip (such a lengthy trip)
Burned to a crisp.
There's smoke rising out of the Moisture Farm de Owen
"Where's my Aunt and Unc? . . . (where's my aunt and unc)
Oh, they're now defunct."

(slows down)

When Luke came back from the homestead,
He really looked pretty glum.
"You would've been killed as well, Luke . . .
There's nothing you could have done."
So we went to Mos Eisley,
To try and hitch us a ride.
That's when we met up with Han Solo, and a
Big hairy oaf by his side!

(bongo riff, speeds up)
Last thing I remember, I was
Hiding behind a door.
I had to find a passage back to
Docking Bay 94.
"Blip blip," said the spy man, and the
Troopers gathered around.
They started shooting at our pilot . . .
We couldn't get off the ground!!!

(long guitary ending)

Grab My Hand

With a little love
And the Dark Side
We'll overthrow the Emperor
We'll rule the galaxy
Come on now, Luke
Your training's just begun
Now stop it with your wailin'
And pull yourself back up here
'Cause
I gotta plan for you
Yeah, I gotta plan for you
And I wanna rule with you

Don't you know, that Ben
He never really said
What happened to your daddy
What happened to your paw,
Well, son it's me,
Don'tcha recognize my voice,
It sounds like James Earl Jones,
But listen to it close now
'Cause
I wanna rescue you
(You know I wanna rescue you, yeah)
Sorry I threw stuff at you
(Please accept my apology) and

Grab my hand
With your other hand
Grab my hand
I'll take you to the promised land
Grab my hand
Won't you come and rule with me
'Cause
It is your destiny
Your destiny
(And sorry 'bout your hand.)

If you only knew
Knew your importance now
The Force is strong with you
Kenobi showed ya how
I said you know
The Dark Side's powerful
Why don't you come on over?
Why don't you be seduced?
'Cause
Son, the Empire's Struck Back,
(You know the Empire's Struck Back now,)
And you'd get to wear all black!
(Get a nifty outfit if you just . . . )

Grab my hand
With your other hand
Grab my hand
I'll take you to the promised land
Grab my hand
Won't you come and rule with me
'Cause
It is your destiny
Your destiny
And sorry 'bout your hand.

By Mike Lynch. Copyright 1995. A FredCorp Musical Production.

I want you to know I'm cat-ching on to you
I know precisely why you're skip-ping school
You've been sneezing all day?
You've been coughing all day?
Your temperature showed a fever?
So you stayed home from school
You think you're so cool
Sitting around watching "Leave It to Beaver"

'Cause the test that you missed in the class
that you skipped can't be made up for you to pass it, no
And every time you skip a class
Do they know how you told them you were sick
And gonna die, gonna die
But you're still alive

Chorus:
And I'm here to remind you
Of the test you missed when you stayed away
It's not fair to the healthy
In the class I hear that you skipped today,
You, you, you oughta go

You look very well, you look healthy
You're not quite as sick, as you'd like us to think
Did you forget history, Mr. Tru-ooo-ancy?
I hate to bug you in the middle of "Oprah"
It was a smack on the head to find you still in your bed
Were you thinking of school when you slept in?

'Cause the test that you missed in the class
that you skipped can't be made up for you to pass it, no
And every time you skip a class
Do they know how you told them you were sick
And gonna die, gonna die
But you're still alive

Repeat Chorus

'Cause the stuff that you missed in the class that you skipped
And you're not gonna know
As soon as you close your eyes during the test
And every time they scratch their nails down someone else's blackboard
I hope you feel it . . . well can you feel it?

Repeat Chorus